I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted! Today is Amy's 4th birthday talked about not knowing where the time went! She is the light of my life, and I can't imagine what life would be like without her.
I managed to pull a 4.0 this semester ~ now the countdown is on. I'll graduate May 10th!! WOOOHOOO!! That is the main reason I'm back on the weightloss wagon. I've got the rest of my life on the right path, but this seems to always end up being the last thing I think about!
I want to get my weight under control but I'm really struggling. I want it but yet I keep opening my mouth and inserting food! Mindlessly eating anything in my reach! Why....you tell me. Am I bored? YES! Am I lonely? YES! Why why why? All I ever do is ask why...why don't I have the life I want, why didn't I marry someone that I have something in common with, why do I do this to myself??
I am back but not the way I should be...this week has been like a dry run. I need to get my whole head in the game. I'm really struggling, I like to eat...and so does the husband. I've tried to clean everything out of the house but it seems to creep back in. I was thinking maybe I could get some one to crack me in the jaw..and get the jaw wired shut...but hell then I'd be ordering chocolate milkshakes from McDonald's all the time. LOL Seriously though, I need to find a way to detox my body. I ate so much sweet food over the holidays that now it's all I want.
I'm determined to make this my year in more ways than one. So here I am in all my fat glory over 300 lbs. I have set some fairly small goals: first 10 lbs, then 30 then 50 for the year...I know if I can really get into this I can do much more but small goals might not seems so overwhelming!
1 comment:
Yay! Sherri finally posted again! :) When I am lonely or bored (which does happen, living alone), I try to remember that this is the one thing I do have control over. Now I ate enough in two weeks to gain 6 pounds, so I'm not the picture of perfection. But that's how I try to be good when no one is around to slap my hand.
Post more often. It keeps your hands busy. Trust me- that's why I've been posting so much. It's hard to eat when you're typing.
I'm glad you're back on the wagon too. It will be better to go on job interviews when you feel better about how you look.
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