Wow I was thinkning today how excited I used to get when it was Friday afternoon...And I only had minutes left before my weekend. Now I actually look forward to Mondays!! The weekends were once times to take off with Paul for our weekly adventures...Now its the baby and I hanging out at the house and taking care of all the things I didn't get done during the week. Paul told me the other day that once I got him I stopped trying...I have thought a lot about that for the last few days. He used to do a lot more than he does now too. We don't need money so badly that he has to work all these hours. He took time for me once upon a time(while he was doing the same job). Now I say who is taking who for granted! I know,I know its both of us!! I really miss having fun together. If nothing else we always had a good time finding things to do. He used to go for walks with me or buy me flowers once in awhile but now...ZIP! No time or "its a waste of money".
I don't mean to be bitching again, I just needed a vent and I guess I feel comfortable saying it here. I need to say it to my husband but I am pretty sure it will lead to the rest of the topic. Just how un happy I am in this town and this marriage. I hate being an hour from my family and yes....I miss my old life. That isn't his fault of course...Its mine for getting married in the first place.
I love being a Mom and having Amy don't get me wrong....I just know there is suppose to be more. I know that real life isn't all romance and flowers but.......Why the hell not. Who ever said that it all had to end once you said I do!! I want to be and feel loved with wild abandonment. What is wrong with that I ask. So sometimes it has to be scheduled but at least it happens! And no I'm not talking about sex...I mean old fashioned romance that most people don't even understand...But Iu have had it and I want it again damn it!!
Ok enough of my ramblings...I need to make dinner, fold the laundry , start the dishes, finish vacuuming and oh yeah..Find time to fit some romance in to my life!! HAHAHAHA
How the hell do I always do this...I used my diary as a kid to vent all my anger too. I wish a wise person could tell me how to make a good mix and have a little bit of it all!
The weight issue....Well....We'll see come Monday! Hopefully this week is better than last week!
6 comments:
Hi Sherri - sounds like you need to really talk to someone face to face. Be it your husband, or perhaps someone professionally that will take the time to hear you out and suggest ways to move forward. I can hear the pain in your words as I have felt the same on occasion. Marriage isn't easy and it definitely isn't a bed of roses every day.
I wish you the best & feel free to send me an e-mail if you like.
I think all of us who are married have been there at some time or another. No marriage is all romance and flowers, but there should be place for them. Children certainly have an impact on this, but parents need to find time to be husband and wife, not just dad and mom. Sheryl is right, you need to talk to someone about this (by the way, she is a pretty damn good person to exchange e-mails with so you may want to take her up on her offer).
anytime ;)
I'll even give you my work e-mail so we can chat all day!
You are not wrong to feel the way that you do. I have, on more than one occasion, entertained the thoughts of ending of my marriage. I guess my expectations were too high and DH's expectations were low. I am often frustrated with the state of our marriage, but, like you, I am met with cynicism and "what did you expect" type comments. I understand the need for romance. Just because we are married, doesn't mean that we don't want to feel just a little bit special every once in awhile!!!
Like Sheryl, if you want to chat "offline", email me. It is nice to know that there are other women who feel the same as I do.
Thank you Sheryl I just may take you up on that. Bob tells me you are a wonderful person to talk with. S
Sue..Thank you it is nice to know we aren't alone. Its easy enough to do while its going on though. Sometimes I don't think I give my hubby a fair shake because I really do miss my old life. I lived alone and came and went as I pleased for many years. I was hoping that after a bit I would get used to having someone else to answer to but 3 years and nothing. MAybe if the romance would come back it might help???? Thank you I may take you up on the email too. S
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